The weather is bright and lovely today.
My room is something like a mess.
A book I bought online just arrived.
I’m sitting here wondering how I’m going to make sense of grad school and coming up with a plan. Apparently I’m not very good at planning. It may be because my simple mind can’t cope with all that is being thrown at it. Every time I think I have a plan, more variables are thrown in, more entropy and it ruins some or most of what I have by way of a plan.
Since I got here, I’ve really just been taking things as they come. My mind tries to figure out what’s urgent and what’s not, then I just pick something I think is urgent and run with that until I’m done with it or until I realise I can’t finish it and then I put it on hold. Maybe this is the wrong way to go about things, and maybe I should have some timetable and some discipline in order to stick with it when it’s practical to do so. Maybe I should have a to-do list, and refer to it and tick off it every now and then.
But I’ve never been able to do that before. I bought an academic diary, and the instance I left the store I knew it was a waste. I wrote in it once, a list of things I had to do, stuff I had to revise. Since I wrote in it, I haven’t gone back to it again. I don’t know when I will. I wrote in it so I don’t feel like I wasted the money but that guilt has died.
So here I am, a bit confused and scared. I will wait for my coffee to be cooler, then I will drink it and I will pick what I think is most urgent amongst the things I have to do. I hope that somehow it all works out for the better.
If you got this far, thanks for reading.