Pleasure is our pain

First, I would like to apologise in advance. I apologise if after reading this post it comes off as nothing but specious crap. I also apologise if the logic behind the message of this post seems flawed to you and therefore can’t hold water. I apologise if it’s just sensational stuff that appeals to people’s minds but in reality is unintelligent. I don’t actually think the things I write appeal to anybody. I however feel the need to be precautious. When you think about it, the paradox that is the title of this post might mean something to someone who by the off chance thinks like me. Or someone else. So here goes…

We humans are quite helpless. This isn’t a novel scientific discovery. Our lives are a series of events we simply can’t control, from our births to our eventual demise. We can’t control the fact that we get dirty, or that we fall ill, or some other misfortune that befalls us. We also don’t know when we’ll die. We just live life, going through every day trying to do things that are meaningful to us and hoping that fulfillment comes at the end. We try to outdo each other in different facets, this makes life kinda like a vanity fest. But I like to think that most of us are over that. This information is engraved somewhere in our minds. Most times we just suppress it so we don’t go through our lives depressed.

In trying to bring some meaning to our lives, we make A LOT of mistakes. We simply weren’t born perfect. We slip and fall a lot of times; some of us get through it while some others do not. The thing is, in many of the mistakes and bad decisions we make, we know damn well what we are getting ourselves into. Many errors in judgement are deliberate errors. A lot of people mess up their lives abusing drugs, fornicating, cheating on spouses, taking too much alcohol, and a host of other depraved or degenerative stuff. We do it because of how it makes us feel. These things bring PLEASURE to us. We all know these things could very well end up biting us in the ass, and causing great trouble and PAIN later on. But we believe we can’t get through life without indulging in something and judgemental people just don’t get that. It’s almost like most people can’t help it. Maybe we are right though. Maybe we can’t.

Let me provide further explanation. How many times have you decided to do something, with that inkling at the back of your mind that what you are getting yourself into could get you into trouble and hurt you? How many times did you somehow just shrug that inkling off, ignore it and go ahead, believing that you would find a way to handle it one way or the other? How many times does an alcoholic or a smoker go teetotal and embraces sobriety, only to go back to it in the end, knowing fully well that what he or she is doing would eventually harm him or her? A lot  is the answer, I think. I go through these things too, we all do. We are slaves to the pleasure. we do its bidding. It brings us pain but we don’t care, We’ll do whatever it asks of us….at least some of it. But It has always been this way. It will always be this way. It is our want for pleasure that eventually brings us pain. Pleasure is our pain.

So what am I saying in essence? I’m not sure I’m saying anything. I’m not sure I’m in the position to offer any advice. All I can say is the pleasure is what makes us weak. Fighting the pleasure makes us stronger. Fighting the pleasure and our want for it is the essence of life. It is by doing this that we truly lead successful lives. Nobody wins every battle, but some people come out of it all with an outcome that is favourable. Sometimes, people win the war. But my point is this, the pleasure is our pain.

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How to be like Don Corleone (The Godfather)

*walks around with laptop and internet connection on head, speaks with an igbo accent* Come read ogbonge blog for here oh! This one na original! This one no be fake at all at all!! If you read am, you go belle full, you no go chop for house again!!! Come read ogbonge blog ohh!!!

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So I just watched “The Godfather” for the first time, and I’m not going to brand myself a “Lastma Official”, because I’m sure many people haven’t even heard about the franchise before, and I have read the book. Some people haven’t even seen the Lord of The Rings before, that is just terribly wrong mehn. They need to be baptized in an Ijebu garri river, and then ijebu-garri-boarded. This is why I should be hired in Guantanamo Bay…

Anyway, I really love the Don Corleone character, he’s simply one of the best characters of all time. Marlon Brando, rest his soul, was simply fantastic! In fact, he has inspired me to write this post, for all you Don Corleone wannabees. So soak it in, let it marinate and then maybe you can be a Godfather too….not in my town though.

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I didn’t write obvious ones like never fart loudly in public or buy boli or fried fish while people are watching; you can figure those ones out. Here goes:

Have something traumatic happen to you in your childhood: When Vito Andolini was 9 years old, evil (Mojo Jojo) Don Ciccio killed his father for no good reason, and then killed his brother Paulo so he wouldn’t revenge. A truly loving and concerned mother Vito’s mum was, she went on to beg the Don with Vito. This Don didn’t chill oh, he still wanted to kill little Vito. The mumsy now did Nikita tinz with a knife and all in a bid to save Vito. She died, and Vito escaped. Someone helped him migrate to America. And when he came of age, went on to do some hara-kiri style slicing of the stupid Don. If something this traumatic happened to you when you were small, I’m really sorry mehn. But look on the “bright side”; you can totally become a Don. If it didn’t, well you can definitely still try, but no advantage for you, sorry.

Take a logic and philosophy class: I didn’t see too much of the quote “Never make threats, always reason with people” in the movie, but it appeared plenty times in the book. The guy liked to “reason” with people, you know, talk things out. Make people “an offer they can’t refuse”, which is just a euphemism for passive-aggressive behaviour. The best way to be good at this is to take logic and philosophy classes so you can reason like him. For example, if all Ibadan girls like wearing “pata ewekoro”, and Risi is an Ibadan girl, then it follows that she likes wearing the said pata. Risi, you go girl! I’m terribly sorry if your name is Risi and you happen to be reading this, perhaps I have made you famous.

Learn Italian, speak good eloquent English: The first part of this one isn’t entirely necessary, unless you like to be thorough. Chances are you will never get to speak the Italian to people here; they will all just be dumbfounded. But if you can speak Ijebu Yoruba, then you’re in luck! They’re very similar, just infuse some of the Italian accent in it and you can speak Yoruba and still sound a lot like the Don! The Don could also speak good English, so you might want to work on that too. Ibadan people should take special note on this one…oops I did it again.

Talk like there is yam in your mouth: hehehehehehe…that’s how Don Vito talked yo! It was like his upper lip was skewed upward. It was funny, he kinda sounded like The Dream, LooL! You can practice by putting yam in your mouth and then talking. The yam might be hot but just bear the pain, it’s worth the struggle. They laugh at you now but soon people would be putting hot asaro in their mouths too 🙂 Once you’re used to it, then you’re good to go!

Never wear a bulletproof vest, don’t die when you’re shot 5 times in the back: He’s a Don, he didn’t need no vest mehn! He could walk around freely and everything would be aite…well not exactly. Some punks went on to shoot the Don. Poor Don, he was very sharp though. He quickly realised and made a run for his car, probably what saved his life. 5 or 6 shots mehn, I know 50-cent supposedly took a couple of bullets too but come on, the Godfather was like 60something! He did very good, we love you Don Vito.

Do people favours, and never forget for the sake of reciprocity: yep, always help people so they can help you back. That way you build alliances, and you become more powerful. It’s a no-brainer really.

Always wear a suit, and always look good…well most times: He wore really nice suits. Very dapper too. It’s a good way to look exhibit confidence and respect. Always dress good!

If you have more, you’re very free to pitch it in by commenting on the post. The truth is I’ve left The Godfather for you folks so I can be like Tony Stark! What can I say, he has more money and a suit that can fly and shoot stuff. Who can beat that?!

Ibrahim Snowden

You might be living under an igneous rock if you haven’t heard anything about PRISM and Edward Snowden. You don’t even need to read an article about it to know what it is about, it’s making a buzz everywhere dude! In case you haven’t, the long and short of it is that the NSA is spying on Americans by monitoring phone and internet records. It’s like The Bourne Trilogy and Scandal coming to life! I guess for Americans it might be despicable and flagrantly repugnant. But for me it’s exciting…no it’s not really exciting but it’s interesting nonetheless! It’s the conspiracy theorists dream, LooL! It even got me thinking…the word thinking suits me well, you know, thin “king” 🙂

 So it got me thinking, what if this is all figured out by these authors? I’ll explain. I’ve watched a few shows with stuff like this in them, and shows are basically acted screenplay. What if the people that write all this stuff know about all this secret stuff happening? What if there are more stories in novels and other kinds of books that are meant to appear like fiction but actually happen and we don’t even know it?! That’s crazy stuff!!

An example is the Game of Thrones. I watched “The Arrivals”, that illuminati video stuff, and the hype behind it was big back then. It was supposed to reveal a lot of truths. I thought some of the stuff in it was maybe a bit ludicrous. However I do remember that they claimed that it was common for incest to take place in royal families. Like the royal family of Britain. Game of Thrones is kinda based in Britain. What if, that stuff in Game of Thrones with Cersei and Jaime hooking up, giving birth to Jeoffrey who is currently King, what if it’s really happening? I know it’s not stuff that can blow up but I hope it’s not true, because that is really messed up. But what do I care, I’m not even British! I wish I was though…

The list is definitely not endless, I’m not the biggest fan of hyperbole 🙂 ! But it’s plenty. Think about it. There’re vampires, Aliens, Superheroes, these ones are less probable but maybe it’s with this quick dismissal that our minds are clouded. What if on some level, all these things exist and are being kept secret from all of us? I’m going to go ahead and strike out vampires now because my religious views maintain that every soul shall taste death…..but wait, Vampires die na! At least they do in the Vampire Diaries (before you call me names (like gaylord), I’ve stopped watching it)….but people can’t leave without a soul….argh forget it!!

I guess Iron-Man might be a feasible superhero. It is possible that technology has taken us that far. It would be really cool if there was really an Iron Man and he was kickass and cocky too. We can use him to battle Boko Haram and the Taliban and tidying up things in Syria and Palestine! Batman too is feasible I guess. Only thing is, he’s not too happy. I like my superheroes happy!

If I were to be a superhero, I want my power to be the ability to turn amala into ice cream. You might think this is crazy, but I believe it can be very useful…for me. Like when I’m at home and mum makes amala. Now I don’t hate the meal, but I’m not big about it either. If you eat something long enough you get used to it. Imagine if I could just turn the amala into a nice ol’ sundae, or chocolate ice cream?! Maybe turn the stew into cream and leave the meat like that. That would be awesome! The bad part is that it might also make me diabetic.

I’m guessing perhaps you expected me to talk about my take on the whole PRISM and Edward Snowden issue. LooL I’m sorry this really isn’t about that. I can however say one or two things about it. I do think that it is a sensitive issue, and it can be considered from different angles. Sure it’s not right to spy on people all in the name of security, but when you leave ethics aside, security is a very important issue. I’m also sure the people that monitor all the phone records and other data don’t really care about the little things that constitute the lives of millions of Americans, except that they are looking out for them. Still it is bad. I hope my equivocation has served its purpose by communicating that I really don’t have an opinion about the whole thing. But it doesn’t matter, I’m not American! I also don’t wish I was but it won’t entirely suck…