How far? Reading this post automatically makes you ma niccur (and niccur-ess), so I can greet you with the blessed greeting of how far! You don chop? You dey alright? Ok!
So the thing is, I sorta quit writing stuff, or suspended it indefinitely (whichever fits better) for some reasons. But before I (totally) do that, I decided to challenge myself by writing about something that isn’t really my “territory”. Today I’m talking about ….marriage *looks left* *looks right*…*continues typing*. Most people have their opinions about this stuff, and since I own a blog (boss!), I get to write it somewhere. Here goes:
Things have changed. I know they have to, but it’s important to consider if they have changed for the better or for the worse. It’s common knowledge that the most righteous and God fearing generation was that of the prophet (PBUH), and after that things pretty much kept going down, just like he predicted. What’s to say things won’t get worse with our children, when we their parents don’t even care *sigh*. Anyway that’s a topic for another day. Lemme continue with *looks left* *looks right*..marriage .I have this picture in my head of how marriage was during the time of the prophet, based on the little I have read about it. This is an outline of how it looks like:
- Man sees girl he fancies. Does CIA investigation about the girl. If he’s satisfied, meets the parents of the girl and asks for her hand in marriage. From what I heard, he may not even talk to the girl before all this…I think we know that really can’t work today.
- Like the prophet prescribed, the major criterion for marriage was a person’s deen and level of faith. Basically this refers to how religious he/she is. So before stuff like money comes up, or how much of a fine boy/girl the potential spouse is, the first thing to consider is religion.
- The prophet’s first wife, Khadijah, proposed to him. She did this because he had such a beautiful personality. I know nobody can be like the prophet, and it would be awkward for any lady to propose to a guy now, but my point is clear enough. It’s not a terrible thing to act first if he is at least worth it and you are doing it for the sake of Allah. It is also noteworthy that Khadijah was older than the prophet, by 15 years. nuf said..
- The muslims back then had so much trust in Allah. This is why you won’t see ‘em searching for the richest individual, while paying no attention to pious people that may not be as buoyant as the former. It was their belief that Allah would always provide, because He (SWT) promised so.
- There are plenty other colours and features I cannot add. But you should get the picture. These were people that placed Allah first in whatever they did.
What may have gone wrong?
Now while this may be obvious already based on the short list above, I think it’s fair that I comment on it a bit. In my opinion, the major thing that has gone wrong is the fact that things got too complicated. The requirements became more complex. The standards became higher. We started to want too much. I’m not going to lay blame on one gender, because while we say stuff like “Girls are too materialistic”, and “They want too much”, we should also point to the fact that guys also became too demanding, of the girls that have the biggest….or the fattest….or the prettiest face. We are all to blame. Everybody wants “the good stuff”, but why consider that at the expense of what truly matters, what Allah wants, what the noble prophet prescribed for us? I’ll tell you why. Because our iman has dropped. Because we don’t really fear Allah as we ought to anymore. Because we’ve put this life ahead of what truly matters. We can’t remind ourselves enough how messed up doing that is. *sigh*…The fact is, when we are asked what we want in a husband/wife, the chief requirement that crowns everything is that the person should be a good spouse…a good husband…a good wife. What we fail to realize is the fact that the one who fears Allah most and is most pious perfectly encapsulates the qualities that makes one a good partner, so wetin con remain?
At this point, I think I want to add an addendum. I want to talk about muslims marrying Christians and vice – versa. Guys, this is crazy (and very myopic)! I just don’t understand the need to marry anyone that doesn’t worship Allah the way we do, it’s our way of life! The thing bores down to our lack of faith. Why marry a Christian girl when there are pleeeennnntttttyyyy beautiful muslim sisters and good brothers out there, that would very much compliment us as muslims. That we can raise a happy muslim family with. It’s very….uncool, and is just a recipe for future disaster. I have heard many stories of how many of these unions have turned out eventually. May Allah help us.
There’s plenty more that I can talk about, but at this point I am going to give it a rest, I’m no marriage counselor. If you can, kindly drop a comment…or something. Sayonara.